Growing up as a boy, we was taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous, dominating, no pain, no emotions, with the exception of anger, and definitely no fear. That men are in charge, which means women are not. That men lead, and you should just follow and just do what we say. That men are superior; women are inferior. That men are strong; women are weak. That women are of less value. Property of men. And objects, particularly sexual objects.
I’ve later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men, better known as The Man Box. See, this Man Box has in it all the ingredients of how we define what it means to be a man. Now, I also want to say, without a doubt, there are some wonderful, wonderful, absolutely wonderful things about being a man—while at the same time there’s some stuff that’s just straight-up twisted. And we really need to begin to challenge, look at, and really get in the process of deconstructing, redefining, what we come to know as manhood.
We as men, good men, the large majority of men, we operate on the foundation of this, this whole collective socialization. We kind of see ourselves as separate, but we’re very much a part of it. You see, we have to come to understand that less value, property, and objectification is the foundation, and the violence can’t happen without it. So we’re very much a part of the solution, as well as the problem.