i… found your tumblr, son. welcome to the force here’s your gun/badge your first case is “who’s grounded” it’s you turn in your bagde & gun
is there anybody out there [static] i repeat [static] can eat too much pizza [screaming and crying] we were wrong [static] pizza [static]
oh, great, i fell into a sarchasm. noo, i’m just FINE, and my bones aren’t broken at ALL, having SUCH a good time down here
No! I just got bit by a Dad. I feel the transformation starting *goes to Home Depot & buys materials to build a deck* I’M GONNA BUILD A DECK
if your literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there’s the door
“carlos did u put youre shoes on the right feets today” YES DAD LEFT AND RIGHT “on YOUr feet son?” ..DAD THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT
HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS Ｔｈｅ Ｃｏｌｏｓｓａｌ Ｐｉｌｌａｒ ｏｆ Ｗａｓｐ Ｅｇｇｓ LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS
“I’m the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit” “Not anymore” New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon
1)sit in toddler seat of a shopping cart. 2)tip over til feet touch the ground. 3)stand up. you’re now a grocery turtle. no one can stop you
“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed!” said mommy bear. “Who hasn’t” muttered daddy bear. “What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!”
vectorbelly :
Twitter: The Comic is a collection of comics based on the greatest tweets of our generation. The source material is used verbatim, typos and all. Despite the seemingly random nature of the tweets, the comic has reoccurring characters and story arcs that aren’t fully understood unless experienced through a single reading. With explicit permission from the writers of each comic, Twitter: The Comic could be a pretty rad book.
