The morning cup of coffee is important. Half-smiling, half-haggard TV housewives shuffle into kitchens in bathrobes warning: ‘don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee.” The laugh track roars and babbles, but it’s a commendable notion. The heat, the caffeine, the ritual awakening. Do you remember the commercials on TV – the old ones – for Folgers and Maxwell House? You were home, it was wintertime, and there was a swirling steam coming off the coffee, black. The strong aroma climbed stairs, and bodies, having survived the night, came to life. I don’t think we have those notions anymore. I don’t think we have those commercials anymore. I see people my age drinking Coca-Cola from cans in the morning. It’s deplorable. We’re losing our direction. It’s dangerous to go too long before having coffee in the morning. It’s no good for our culture. Buying a seven-dollar coffee, a cardboard tower, on your way to work is dangerous. So much could go wrong. You should have coffee in the house, in a mug, sitting in a chair, and almost immediately after waking up. The loss of this ritual could be the reason our culture’s in the state it’s in – aggressive and impatient, we make enemies of neighbors. Wake up, people, make your own coffee. Make it the way you like it and don’t talk to a fucking soul, or think a single thought, until you have.
I waited too long to have my coffee this morning.