Silly Bandz are great fun, but they’re not really relevant to adults. So we made these Serious Bandz, suitable for anyone who has a dysfunctional marriage, a humdrum job, or a looming awareness of their own mortality. Get yours today!

Silly Bandz, of course, are the variously-shaped rubber bands that all the kids are wearing these days. And now adults can get in on the fun, too. Click the image for full-size seriousness.

Gizmodo Presents… Serious Bandz!