{"id":18186,"date":"2014-01-30T14:46:05","date_gmt":"2014-01-30T14:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/stavingdarkness-when-she-was-7-a-boy-pushed\/"},"modified":"2014-01-30T14:46:05","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T14:46:05","slug":"stavingdarkness-when-she-was-7-a-boy-pushed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/stavingdarkness-when-she-was-7-a-boy-pushed\/","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

stavingdarkness<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cwhen she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground
\nshe fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs
\nwhen she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said \u2018boys will be boys honey don\u2019t let it bother you
\nhe probably just thinks you\u2019re cute\u2019
\nbut the thing is,
\nwhen you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same
\nyou teach her that boys show their affection through aggression
\nand she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two
\nbecause no one ever taught her the difference
\n\u2018boys will be boys\u2019
\nturns into
\n\u2018that\u2019s how he shows his love\u2019
\nand bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips
\nshe goes to school with a busted mouth in high school and says she was hit with a basketball instead of his fist
\nthe one adult she tells scolds her
\n\u2018you know he loses his temper easily
\nwhy the hell did you have to provoke him?\u2019
\nso she shrinks
\nfolds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice
\nby the time she\u2019s 16 she\u2019s learned her job well
\nbe quiet, be soft, be easy
\ndon\u2019t give him a reason
\nbut for all her efforts, he still finds one
\n\u2018boys will be boys\u2019 rings in her head
\n\u2018boys will be boys
\nhe doesn\u2019t mean it he can\u2019t help it\u2019
\nshe\u2019s 7 years old on the playground again
\nwith a mouth full of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love
\nbecause boys will be boys baby don\u2019t you know
\nthat\u2019s just how he shows he cares
\nshe\u2019s 18 now and they\u2019re drunk
\nin the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears they\u2019re ruined
\nlike a glass heirloom being dropped between the hands of generations
\nshe meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn\u2019t save them in this moment
\nshe touches the bruise the next day
\nboys will be boys
\naggression, affection, violence, love how does she separate them when she learned so early that they\u2019re inextricably bound, tangled in a constant tug-of-war
\nshe draws tally marks on her walls ratios of kisses to bruises
\none entire side of her bedroom turns purple, one entire side of her body
\nboys will be boys will be boys will be boys
\nwhen she\u2019s 20, a boy touches her hips and she jumps
\nhe asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh
\ndoesn\u2019t he know that boys will be boys?
\nit took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground
\nso I guess what I\u2019m trying to say is
\ni will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely separate things
\nbaby they exist in difference universes
\nmy niece can\u2019t even speak yet but I think I\u2019ll start with her now
\ndon\u2019t ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys
\ndon\u2019t ever let him put his hands on you like that
\nif you see hate blazing in his eyes don\u2019t you ever confuse it with love
\nbaby love won\u2019t hurt when it comes
\nyou won\u2019t have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer
\nand
\nthe only reason he should ever reach out his hand
\nis to hold yours\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u2014 <\/p>\n

Fortesa Latifi –\u00a0Boys Will Be Boys\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

(And Why That Is The Stupidest Thing You Could Ever Say To A Little Girl)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

stavingdarkness: \u201cwhen she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground she fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs when she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said \u2018boys will be boys honey don\u2019t let it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6PWot-4Jk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18186"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18186\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rafaelfajardo.com\/portfolio\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}